Back in college, a writing professor advised us creative writing students to โread everythingโ if we wanted a career as an author. She didnโt just mean read everything in our genre or genres of choice, she meant read widely across genres.
That was preaching to the choir for me since Iโd been a catholic reader from grade school on: biography, history, natural science, short stories, science fiction, novels, crime fictionโeven memoir, though I didnโt know to call it that. If the writer told a good story, I was hooked.
My mentor might have been quoting or paraphrasing Faulkner. In 1947, speaking to English Department students at the University of Mississippi, he was asked โWhat is the best training for writing? Courses, experience, or what?โ
Faulknerโs advice was โRead, read, read. Read everythingโtrash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! Youโll absorb it. Then write. If it is good, youโll find out. If itโs not, throw it out the window.โ
I wouldnโt go as far as throwing bad books out. You can learn a lot from books that donโt work and sometimes more than from books that do. Why? Because the flaws and failures are so clear. Itโs easy to see how the author didnโt hit the mark and work out how you can do the opposite.
Now I know that Fifty Shades of Gray has been a monstrous financial success, but as fiction, it stinks. The characters are thin and the prose is often ridiculous. Here are some prime examples:
โI moan into his mouth, giving his tongue an opening.โ
โI have a serious case of the butterflies. They are flourishing in my stomach.โ
โMy subconscious has reared her somnambulant head.โ
โMy body quivers, bows: a sheen of sweat gathers over me.โ
โMy subconscious has found her Nikes, and sheโs on the starting blocks.โ
โMy inner goddess glares at me, tapping her small foot impatiently.โ
โI know that lurking, not very far under my rather numb exterior, is a well of tears."
โHe kisses me passionately, forcing my lips apart with his tongue, taking no prisoners.โ
โMy subconscious is staring at me in awe.โ
โI glower inwardly, walking away.โ
And the sex scenes that people have talked about ad infinitum are really hilarious because as one workshop student of mine complained: โThe geography doesnโt make sense.โ
Books like that can be valuable and instructive, and theyโve taught me to be clear, focused, and always remember to treat my readers with respect. Should you read Fifty Shades of Gray? Why not, even if all you want is to laugh?
Lev Raphael has taught creative writing at Michigan State University and edits, coaches, and mentors writers at writewithoutborders.com. Heโs the prize-winning author of twenty-seven books in genres from memoir to mystery. Levโs fiction and nonfiction have appeared in fifteen languages. Heโs published 70+ personal essays and short stories since the height of the pandemic and is currently working on a family thriller and two new essays.
Image by Gundula Vogel from Pixabay
If somebody moaned into MY mouth, I wouldn't stop giggling.
Ahaha, thanks for the 50 Shades quotes. I had no idea it was THAT bad. The small foot of the inner goddess made me laugh out loud. Trying to imagine what David Sedaris or Carl Hiaasen could do with that....