In my academic mystery series, I exiled professors to basement offices well before The Chair became a series starring Sandra Oh. I’ve seen much worse behavior and it’s inspired my fictional English department since the 90s. Praising one of the books, The New York Times Book Review noted that “The Borgias would not be bored at the State University of Michigan, that snake pit of academic politics.”
Of course they wouldn’t. Academia has the egomania of professional sports; the hypocrisy of politics; the cruelty of big business; and the inhumanity of organized crime.
But fans sometimes ask me if academia is really that bad. Are professors that selfish, backbiting, and ungenerous? Yes, they can be. Academic culture from school to school has quirks and even idiocies that make great material for satire (and crime). Sometimes the behavior is egregious, sometimes it’s just ridiculous. Either way, it’s great fodder for fiction.
Here’s a case in point. At one private college where I read from one of my most successful books, I wasn’t brought in by English or Creative Writing faculty, but by Jewish Studies.
I love readings. I have a theater background, years of experience on radio, and I’ve done hundreds of talks and readings on three different continents. I’ve also taught workshops for writers on how to do readings; they require practice, art, and planning.
Only four people turned up for this particular campus reading, and the disappointed coordinator explained why, afterwards. Whenever she brought in a speaker who writing students would naturally be interested in, English and Creative Writing professors consistently failed to do anything to promote the reading. They wouldn’t be co-sponsors, didn’t encourage their students to show up, and basically boycotted the event. Why? Territoriality. Apparently they felt that they’re the only ones who should be inviting authors to campus.
It made me laugh, because it seemed so typical of academic pettiness. But it also made me sad because the writing students might have learned something and enjoyed themselves.
I never obsess about numbers when I do a reading: 4 or 400, the audience deserves my best, and that’s what I gave them at this college. Too bad the small-minded English Department and its writing professors didn’t really care enough about their own students to point them towards opportunities right there on their own little campus. It makes you wonder how else they may be giving students less than they deserve as they jealously defend what they think is their turf and nobody else’s.
Lev Raphael’s latest academic mystery is Department of Death. He edits, coaches, and mentors writers at writewithoutborders.com.
(Photo by Wonderlane on Unsplash)
Sadly, I couldn't find a word to disagree with in your post. I encountered the same problems during my stint in college teaching, but also, to my surprise in related fields. The curator of a small museum promised her modest collection to the museum when she died; as a result they took very good care of her. But she never bought anything for the museum that might overshadow the pieces in her collection. As a result, the museum, which could have had a growing very respectable collection in a particular area, had a second-rate collection not worth the money spent on it.
I spent 3 years as a researcher at a European university, one of these jobs that renowned professors dole out because they land a government contract with attached juicy fees. I can testify that throat-cutting was widely practiced in the research ranks too. Understandable. When you're on a temporary contract, with no guarantee of renewal, and you plan to make a career out of this (with maybe an elusive prof spot somewhere along the way), every other researcher is a potential threat. And the prof holding the contract is an almighty god.