18 Comments
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Brian Bouldrey's avatar

Misery loves company. These are excellent company.

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Lev Raphael's avatar

Nicely done.

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Liz Gauffreau's avatar

The mind boggles . . .

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Lev Raphael's avatar

It truly does..... Someone at a signing years ago asked why they should buy my book of short stories and a quick-thinking friend nearby said, "If you check the price against the table of contents, you'll see that the stories are less than a dollar each!"

It worked.

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Liz Gauffreau's avatar

My response to receiving the same question about my novel was fumbling and bumbling. It didn't work.

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Lev Raphael's avatar

It’s such a weird question, right? I was dumbfounded and happy my friend had a snappy answer. It was my first year of touring for a book, so I had a lot to learn! Sometimes I have joked that I’m saving up for a new toaster…. 😄

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Liz Gauffreau's avatar

The toaster sounds like a good rejoinder. Or maybe I should give the answer I received from a freshman comp student when I asked her who her intended audience was--"everybody"--and why would they want to read her essay--"because I wrote it."

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Lev Raphael's avatar

I love those!

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Liz Gauffreau's avatar

I had to concede defeat for that writing conference!

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LC Frias's avatar

I haven’t published yet, and still, I relate to your words… Few more comments to add to the list:

You describe too much

I would love to see more descriptions

There are too many characters… were those your only friends?

Did that really happen? (my favorite, after telling it is a fiction novel :))

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Lev Raphael's avatar

LOL. And thanks for stopping by.

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Richard Donnelly's avatar

"Can you tell your agent about me?" This is the saddest. Don't agents say whatever you do don't send me anyone? I know I would : )

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Arnie Bernstein's avatar

This is great stuff--and just scratches that proverbial surface. I'd put an addendum to "I want you to write my book" which is "I can't afford to pay you but I'll split the royalties with you. I'm sure we'll make a lot of money." The unspoken thing in all this is "I don't know what the hell I'm doing--you can do it for me and then I'll split the royalties, which will amount to doodlysquat."

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Lev Raphael's avatar

You're right, but I was keeping things short and punchy.... :-)

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Ramona Grigg's avatar

Love this! Someone once told me if I wasn't always letting people know how old I am I'd probably get a younger crowd to read me. I wish I could say I came up with the perfect answer. I didn't. "Uh huh" was the best I could do.

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Lev Raphael's avatar

The best response is to say Thanks! Greet snark with smart. 😁

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David Mitchell's avatar

The next time someone makes a snarky comment, just remind them that they know who you are and you have no clue who they are . . . .

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Lev Raphael's avatar

You know how fast that would be all across the Internet? 😨

Besides, they make for great anecdotes....

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